Ridenour 2003 Christmas Letter

Great news!  My parents remarried each other.  Dad, with all of his millions and fancy cars, could not get a date and mom missed her $20 a week allowance.  He still resents the fact that she has her own checkbook.

Brother Dale’s conviction was overturned and he was released from prison.  His original conviction was weak because it was based on a single strand of hair.  He is now gainfully employed as the Ferris wheel operator at Neverland Ranch.  Dale’s son Achmed Abdullah hopes to visit Neverland soon.

Brother David’s kids, Uday, Qusay, Hearsay, and Paris, are growing up fast.  They are spending more and more time outside now that David has noticed the black helicopters are gone.  And they are still eating their Y2K rice.

After 19 years, our cats have all been buried.  Mandy, the oldest and last to live, was the most difficult to bury.  She would not keep still.

One day, a black cat showed up at our doorstep.  We threw expensive tuna fish and salmon at him.  Not sure why he is still living on our porch.  We named him Bo.

At 89, Nannie “Slinky” Burnett decided to retire from her singing career.  However, she was recently asked to audition for backup vocals for the Depends® 2004 Rolling Stones Tour.  When she showed up, Mick told her she was too young.

Dot’s sister Desiree, the actress, decided to give up the liberal Hollywood life and the money to be an aide to President Bush.  To see her life’s work, go to www.paulridenour.com/desi.htm

December the 14^th was a very good day.  The coward Saddam Hussein was confirmed captured and the Dallas Cowboys won.

Dottie and I vacationed in France because we wanted to see the Paris sites.  We also vacationed in Maine, New Brunswick, Prince Edward Island, Nova Scotia, and Pleasant Grove.

Still looking for that perfect one true church, Dottie and I moved our membership to Our Lady of Unbearable Pain and Suffering and Bingo.

After 18 years in the telecom business and not really doing anything at work, I decided to follow my dreams and became a cocktail waitress at a gambling casino.  Tips are scarce.

Merry Christmas – Paul and Dottie Ridenour
www.paulridenour.com

                                                                    Nannie “Slinky” Burnett               Dad                              Mom

                 Paris                                         Desiree

                Dale                                                    David